Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Today, My Brother... Joel Steven Koopersmith...died...

Actually, on January 6, 2020 between 5:30-6 PM.

I am in shock.

May He rest in peace.  I'll post some nice Photos of him in the Days ahead...

POSTED:
Tuesday, January 7, 2020 - 6:10 PM CST


====================================

Penned: Tuesday,  January 21, 2020 - 2:05 PM CST

A new Set of Circumstances have emerged since my younger Brother, Joe Koopersmith (Joel Steven Koopersmith, age 64) died on Monday night, January 6, 2020 in Grants Pass, Oregon, his home circa the Mid-1980s.

As recorded by Me, ASK: Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith,  his older Sister - Resident of Chicago, IL USA.

DUE to the Fact that People have the right to know, this is the 'BackStory' that no one else will know until my Release of those Facts & Evaluation here and now.  I am the only one who has privy to these Facts and can piece them together.  

Because Joey was so well-liked, let his Death stand for something that other People can learn from. That's the least that can come from this horrible Catastrophe. 

Let's begin:

His Death Certificate says Cardiac Arrest, but there's much more to be revealed.  JOEY died of Parental Neglect, Indifference(1) and Ignorance (by and on behalf of our Mother, Betty Friend Koopersmith) combined with  Domestic Violence &  Mental Cruelty as exhibited  by his Wife, Kay Koopersmith who physically abused him (with hammer attacks in their Home).

Defined as  'Bouts of Domestic Violence;' Fear of future Bodily Harm that subsequently led to Mental Strain, Anxiety & Stress  that weakened Joe's Heart thus causing him to suffer a Heart Attack that was aided and abetted  by a too-rich high Cholesterol Diet of being a Meat Eater; no steady Exercise Plan and an early Career of long and strenuous Hours of Physical Labor (as a young Man) who was a Construction Worker circa Age 18-55 (or 60).  Combined with those Events, JOE had wanted a Divorce from his Wife since 1988 who refused to divorce him.  He seemed HAPPY from the Outside being a top Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Merchant, yet he was crying on the Inside.  That is why this Page is so alarming to write and to read.  He has not even been 'grieved' properly yet.

WHEN THOSE RED FLAGS ARE NOT HEEDED:

When Betty Friend Koopersmith learned of Joe's Hammer Attacks via phone calls, she did not tell her SON that this is classic DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (by the Book).**  She kept this a Secret.  Had she told me of Joe's Ordeal, I would have told her to CALL THE GRANTS PASS POLICE at once and furthermore, suggest that  Small Video Cameras be placed and set-up throughout Joe & Kay's Home in Grants Pass, Oregon to record any future Violent Attacks. When one of these Violent Episodes of Kay attacking Joey with the Hammer  happened, it would have been caught-on-tape and his Wife (of 32 years) would have been jailed, evicted from the property and Divorce Proceedings could have begun in which he would have won his case unanimously hands-up.  In this case, any Judge would side with the Man (my abused Brother) in this instance.  

Moral of this Great American Tragedy is:

IF you hear something, say or do something.
IF you see something, say or do  something.
IF you question something strange or weird, say or do  something.

DO not stand-by as all of this leads to an immense Amount of Stress & Distress placed upon the Victim's Body.  Every thing is connected.

If someone calls you and CONFIDES IN YOU, telling you about RED FLAGS that are popping up in a Dysfunctional Relationship, do not be afraid to call THE POLICE. This is what is called:  

SAVING A LIFE.

This, to me, is a very strange Turn of Events re: the Death of my Kid Bro, Joe Koopersmith.  It culminates in my thinking about his last few Months on Earth;  his deteriorating  Household Situation and piecing the Dynamics all together since his Death 15 Days ago.  Now, JOE KOOPERSMITH has become The Poster Boy of  what is called The Repercussions of the Battered Husband Syndrome.

AND, nothing will bring Joey back.  I am putting this Observation & Deduction "OUT THERE" in case you know of someone who is suffering silently.  

More about this Plight that affects MEN is online at:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men

From this very informative and in-depth Article are 2 very important POINTS you should know in case someone in your Family is suffering and not telling anyone:

1)  Men who report domestic violence can face social stigma regarding their perceived lack of machismo and other denigrations of their masculinity.  Additionally, intimate partner violence (IPV) against men is generally less recognized by society than IPV against women, which can act as a further block to men reporting their situation. 

against men is generally less recognized by society:  Those are the Key Words.

2) ...for both men and women, domestic violence is among the most underreported crimes worldwide.

domestic violence is among the most underreported crimes worldwide.Those are the Key Words.

THE BOTTOM LINE WAS: 
Joey needed an Intervention.
He needed a Marriage Counselor. 
He needed help with sorting his Home & Married Life out.

He never found any of that although all three (3) were right at his Fingertips.
#1:  Google
#2:  ASK a Friend or Family Member who to turn to...

So, behind the Facade of a long marriage (unhappy at that) and The Facade of a self-made & successful wheeler-dealer in the HarleyDavidson Motorcycle World since age 16-64, Joel S. Koopersmith had no one he could count on with the thousands of People he knew throughout the Decades who could make that CALL-FOR-HELP.  There was no one to help him ESCAPE from a Life of Torment that would end far too soon as it did on the night of January 6, 2020 at the tender age of 64.  Thousands of People for Decades - including People who lived in his Town - his Morning Coffee Clutch Guys...no one stepped up to bat to help him.  And, I have found many of his SO-CALLED FRIENDS knew.  Dirty Little Secrets only lead to an Early Death - a leading Indicator of a PreMature Death in the 21ST Century.  People have to stop and think of WHAT MATTERS MOST.

Regardless of Family & Friends, we all die alone.

AS OF:  January 22, 2020 at 2:56 AM now is the TIME TO HOIST the

JOEL S. KOOPERSMITH BATTERED MEN CAMPAIGN (C)2020

for the other abused Males will not suffer as My Brother did.

IN CLOSING THIS CHAPTER:  I really cannot think of anything sadder than this...

POSTSCRIPT:
**classic DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (by the Book).
I had been a Victim of Domestic Violence via an Alcoholic Boyfriend circa February 28, 1989. I know what the Symptoms are.  The only difference is that by being a Sociology Major (at Washington University in St. Louis), I knew what it was and what to do to save myself.  I had a neighbor that I 'ran to' and I had a wonderful Boss who made sure I did not go home the next night after 'the Attack.'  I also had a Judge who was adamant about putting ALAN 'away' that made me think that this is MUCH MORE SERIOUS than I or the Media thought.  I thank them all  for being there for me.  I'm in grief my Brother didn't...he never made. it.

(1) Indifference is rampant in my Family Tree. It's a Character Defect.  If an Issue is not looked at and examined thoroughly, my Mother & Brother feel it will  somehow correct itself and go away without further Involvement.  The First Case of this warped Thinking is when My Parents, Louie & Betty Koopersmith divorced in 1977.  Every Day throughout that long 14 month ordeal that began in July of 1976, Joe remained indifferent to their Case. He acted as if nothing was happening.  I (on the other hand) was told to go home by Mother's Chicago based Divorce Attorney and care for my Mother since my Father had threatened to kill her.  I was not to leave her side. I did just that. As an obedient child, I did that (giving up an excellent Job) in Advertising to ensure her Safety.  Joe (on the other hand) acted as if nothing was happening.  Joe was extremely indifferent to what was happening to the Family - our Family Dynamic.  The Second Case of this Indifference, of course, is when Betty F. Koopersmith failed to advise Joe to the best of her Ability (evidently because she was ignorant, didn't know or didn't care) that Domestic Violence Cases must be reported to The Police.  What about:  Wielding a Hammer at a person did she NOT get?  All of these Factors aided in the Deterioration of  Joe's Physical Health that culminated in his untimely Death on January 6. I would classify Indifference as one of the Great Deadly Sins of Mankind.  Dr. Phil would agree. 

ASK: January 21, 2020 - 6:26 PM CST: Indifference Explanation 

8 comments:

Susan Zarnicki Janty said...

Sorry to hear this . My deepest condolences to you and your family .

Unknown said...

Oh, SUSAN, thank you so much. Yes, I know We would chat lots more on Facebook - that I am no longer on. How did you ever find out about Joe dying? It was a heart attack but he had a very very stress Life in Oregon, IF you can read between the LINES. There's relationships we should be having; there's others that are truly poisonous and toxic. Mom is 91 now. Just found your Note: January 17 now - Day 11 that JOE's been gone. All that he worked for in the #HarleyDavidson Motorcycle World is gone; poof, up in a cloud of smoke. Nothing really seems to matter any more...when I think about how short Life is. Again, thank you, Susan. Stay well - keep as healthy as you can since every Decade takes its toll. You're Eye Sight dims in your 50s; your Teeth in your 60s; in your 70s for Women, our bones get brittler; and once in your 80s, mental facilities can weaken. Most of us (as JOE) do not really have GOOD HEART Practices - and stress, strain & manual labor has to really be curtailed. In other words, SLOW DOWN & smell the Roses before UR pushing UP The Daisies.

Susan Zarnicki Janty said...

Phyllis Engels sent me the obit from the Mendota paper and my brother called me and told me as it was in the LaSalle Tribune paper. 2019 was an exceptionally bad year for loss , may we have peace in 2020 .
It is a true gift that your mother is still living enjoy every moment . Peace on and stay well , friend .
Susan

Dave Shawback said...

Hi Adrienne ~ I just heard about Joe yesterday. I found it hard to believe and it is so sad. Lois and I had been talking about going over to see him in the last few months. Life seems always to be busy, but now I have much regret. Joe was my best friend though our high school days and even though it has been awhile since we've talked, I will miss him. I have so many memories of the times Joe and I spent together. Memories I will cherish. Our thoughts are with you, Linda and your Mom. Did I see you may be planning on a memorial in Mendota? If so, please let us know. Our condolences for all of you. Dave Shawback for all the Shawbacks.

Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith said...

Hey, David, Yea...it's hard to believe that JOEY is gone.
A mother should not have to bury her only son. Her Child.
At 1 point in time from Oct 27,2019 - Jan. 6, 2020 at 5:22 PM, I was celebrating the fact that MOM (now 91) had 3 Kids who were in their 60s as Linda (my younger Sister who lives in the LA area) turned 60 on Oct. 27 and MOM just turned 91 on Oct. 24th. Then, I was thinking that in a decade - merely 10 more years & you know how fastly - and quickly TIME goes on by - when MOM is 101 (hopefully), she'd have 3 kids in their 70s. But not to be. JOE upted and died on us.

The folks had gotten married on Oct. 28. October was a big Month for us Koopersmiths when we were all a FAMILY - back when YOU & JOE were friends. Remember snowmobiling? That was such fun for you BOYS! He loved you, too, David.

Yea, 1 thing for sure is that we have to slow down & get the important things done. Joe certainly could not take his Harley-Davidson's with him. It seems that everything he worked for in the MOTORCYCLE world went POOF out the window...all those Decades. He really was NOT happy - he wanted to get a divorce since 1988. She would even torture him & attack him with a hammer but told him she would CLAIM domestic violence as she fell alot (being 10 years older than he was) & got all black & blue. As a gold-digger, She married my Brother as he was a RICH LITTLE JEWISH BOY who inherited his Dad's Junk Yard after Louie died in June of 1979. Lots of women were after JOEY; even after he was married.

She is now sitting on all of his Real Estate & Accolades & hard work. In other words, get rid of all the Anxiety & Stress in your Life as the PEOPLE we "let in" can be very, very toxic & hazardous to our HEALTH, Dave. The heart can only take SO MUCH. Plus, eliminate all meat from your diet, as cholesterol accumulates in your Heart's Arteries; JOE did none of this and now he's dead. IF he could only go back & retweak his life, he'd still be here.

DAVE, MOM & I already had his Service on Friday, January 10TH - Joe is buried in Chicago - a suburb. It's only been 2 weeks as of today that JOE died at 5:23 PM; We are not planning anything for Mendota - as he left there in 1983. Thank you, David - will tell MOM you and Lois wrote.

Alessandro Machi said...

My condolences.

Unknown said...

Tragically all too common. May God bless his soul and pray he finds peace.

Susan Zarnicki Janty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.