Living The Life of Riley…or not… A few Choice Words about Life & Lemonade when it’s spiked with Vodka…

Living The Life of Riley…

or not…

A few  Choice Words about Life &

 Lemonade when it’s spiked with Vodka…

By: ASK: Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith

Koopersmith's Global Communications

"People read what ASK writes about..."

Chicago, Illinois USA

BF & CALi: July, 2017

There’s something that is really tugging at My Heart at this particular Point in Time:

Monday, July 8, 2019 bright and early at 7:55 AM CST.

It’s something that is considered a Backstory that a Person does not expose or leak but since IT is The Culmination of 'My Life-to-date' as I approach my 67^Th Year on August 9 (of 2019), I decided to air this Side of my Story which IS and IS NOT  "My Story."  I may be considered a Conscientious Onlooker but I know instinctively that others are also facing this Ordeal and still MORE will be facing this and it is not a pretty Picture at all.  Therefore, I decided to become a 

Conscientious Objector and state the following as clearly as I can:

Airing ‘Dirty Laundry’ is a way to stay-centered. Once you get something OFF your Chest, it’s a Cleansing Process that makes the Talker feel better. Instant Therapy.  Why all those Talk Shows that sprang up in the 1990s became so successful.  People do listen.  People do sympathize.  Some People even go as far as trying to change ‘their Lifestyle’ or Situation so that they avoid THIS.  There's Power in Numbers and We can be a success on a Daily Basis.  It's a rather simple Process if you do not stand in your own Way.

THIS is defined as my 16-year Relationship with a Life-long Alcoholic who will be 70 if he makes it to his next Birthday in 2020.  Being 66, I qualify & am a Babyboomer.  BOY, did We party.  That Era:  The 1960s was wild!  Sex & Drugs & Rock n Roll.  It was FUN.  It was lively.  Anything would GO & it did.  Many of the Great Talents that We idolized (esp in the Entertainment Field) died early because of over-doses.  Bad drugs & over-drinking.  HOWEVER, Alcohol is The Silent Killer.  It will last a Lifetime as it has for 'My Boyfriend' (a/k/a:  BF).

We all know how The Cycle begins. Got to be social.  With a few drinks and then it accelerates from there.  Before long (although he began at age 14 when his best Friend’s Mother would buy the 2 Boys booze as she thought it was funny to get them drunk), more is consumed. 

However, as I have noticed since I hit my 40s, every Decade takes its toll on the Human Body.  In your 50s, your Eyesight goes.  In your 60s, your Teeth need more attention.  In your 70s, I hear that in Women our Bones need additional supplements.

HOWEVER, for a MAN the Corruption of Alcohol takes a TOLL on his Family and Family Life as well.  In BF’s Case, it was at the basis of his Divorce (that he never got over).  Plus, by being a DAD he exerted himself trying to be a PERFECT FATHER to his 2 Sons.  He took too much wear-and-tear on his body.  Before that when he was merely 20, he had an Employment related Accident that pulled his Lower Spine - his Backbones so that he was in pain from that Age on.  Frightened of the Ramifications of a Back Operation, he put it off for nearly 30 years until May 25, 2017.


That Physical Problem along with Fatherhood and being a Vice President at a few of the Places he worked put additional Strains on him.  We all have a breaking point.  We all get anxious.

DO NOT AVOID THE RED FLAGS:

When dating, no one really tells you what their Vices and/or Addictions are.  You find out about them - you stumble upon them when you spend a certain length of Time with that Person. At which Point, you either stay or move-on.  HOWEVER, the Main Point 1 want to share that NO ONE ever told me about & I did attend 90 AA Meetings in 30 Days (the typical or required is 30 meetings in 30 days) but I was enthralled with its Philosophy back during the Summer of 1990 is that:

Liquor rots out your Bladder.

This leaves the plcoholic with NO control and he will “eliminate” – not being able to reach the Toilet in enough Time. 

My BF has been drinking pathologically (to excess) for 20 years now; beginning at age 14 and now he is 69.  That’s 55 years of Poison going through his SYSTEM.

NO ONE should have to clean up The Feces of someone who cannot even clean it up for himself.  This is a Side of Alcoholism that goes far beyond “blacking out” at a Frat Party.  What this means is that he NO LONGER CAN EAT.  He can not put 1 Bite of Food into his Mouth.  It will go right through him.

Do you want to suffer this way?
Do you want your loved Ones to clean up after you?

There is NO Quality of Life yet.

When your Body starts to break down, there is only 1 thing to do and that is to put that PERSON into Assisted Care – a Nursing Home as they cannot keep themselves clean. Added to this  Sad Scenario is that in BF's Case he cannot even GET OUT OF BED & make it to all the Doctor Appointments I have set up for him.

With a Psychiatrist to get to the Core of his Problems
With a Sleep Doctor (since the severe nonstop Pain prevents him from Sleeping)
With a Pain Doctor who may have a Remedy & some Relief;

AND, he has done this all on his OWN by being his Own Worst Enemy.  

ANOTHER POINT of UTMOST CONCERN is the Use of Alcohol instead of Medication. Bob’s Doctors know he is a Drunk. A functional drunk from 1974-2013.  He worked. He brought a Paycheck home.  They will not give him the needed Meds that will make 'The Pain' go away since they are fearful he will wash it down with a few slugs of Vodka, his Choice of Alcohol.  He paralyzed his left hand in a “drunken episode” while alone and depressed in the early 2000s.  Overcompensating for his Dead Left Hand, his Right Hand now has Chronic Arthritis and he only has use of his thumb and index finger.  He hurts.

My beautiful Friend hurts and there's nothing that can be done since he has given up.

His Story is indeed 'The Saddest.'  Even CALi our CALiCO can feel his Pain and keeps Vigils on his Bed Top He also is clinically depressed so that he has Bouts of Major Depression even without The Realization that his Left Arm & Fingers are useless.  Therefore, he self-medicates as the Liquor-is-quicker.  But the Alcohol is killing him; rotting out his Inners and destroying his Vital Organs.  I have often asked him if he has “Cirrhosis of The Liver” but he seems to avoid my Questions. 

On 1 hand you cannot blame him.  He is a MAN in Pain who has gone through 7-9 Operations/Procedures since May of 2017.  He physically hurts.  He mentally is in pain.  The Combination must be unbearable.  When I step into his ‘proverbial Shoes,’ I would probably do the same Thing.  I try to understand his Position.  After 16.5 years of knowing him, it’s a Vicious Cycle that has him gripped and will not let lose; plus he has no Strength left to fight as he once had.

WHAT I AM PROPOSING

is that PEOPLE who drink,

STOP 
while you can.

You need to PUT the Emergency Break on.  Nothing good will happen if you continue ON as you are.  

✅ For you.  
✅ Your Loved Ones.  
✅ Your Family & Friends.
✅ Your Employer.
✅ Your Community.
✅ For your Pets who can also feel and smell something is wrong...

Heed these Words of Experience.  Alcohol undermines a Person’s Psyche. And shortens a Survival Rate.  It is also working 'behind The Scenes' to destroy Human Life, one Bottle at a Time.  Someone Special that you love and like.  AND, as a Drinker ask yourself:  

Do you really want to put your Loved Ones through such an Ordeal?

Do you want to have NO CONTROL over your Bladder in your Senior Years (if you make it that long)? Alcohol is behind THE WHEEL of so many Accidents (fatal and debilitating).  Drinking is far MORE than a Waste of Money; no Nutritional Value; The Crux that breaks-up Families and Relationships; it is a Destroyer of HUMAN DIGNITY that is not replaceable. 

I’m prone to believe that People are not born to wish they become an Alcoholic.  Such is The Nature of Drinking Booze.  HOWEVER, if you DRINK, think of what HAPPENS (in the Years ahead) – that is never told about til NOW.  That The BOOZE you are consuming is laying way for The Destruction of your Inner Organs.  These cannot be replaced nor those Relationships that should be growing, not destroying.  

Drinking for FUN while a Teen 

(ENTER:  Peer Pressure)

& 

Drinking  Four (4) Decades later come along with

Two totally different Sets of Repercussions.

Seeing a Loved One die in front of your Eyes - on 'YOUR WATCH' cannot really be explained, but I tried my Best with this BLOG.

I truly hope all the Other BFs & GFs (who are Friends, Lovers, Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Grandparents, Neighbors) in The World get The Help they require and find The Strength to stick-to-it.  If not, the long and winding Road is destructive to all He/She encounters…

If you wish to discuss, vent or need more details, feel free to contact me directly at:

Adrienne(dot)Sioux(dot)Koopersmith(at)gmail(dot)com

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